Infatuated
by DanieSora
Summary: He never had a problem like this on his life, but of course there's a first time for everything and he became infatuated by a student turning is life into a living inner turmoil inferno. What can he do if the infatuation keeps growing and it may be reciprocate? School AU, teacher Alfred and student Ivan relationship issues. [americaxrussia, human verse]. Rated M for precaution.
1. Chapter 1

**School AU**, teacher and student relationship issues.

**Pairing**: AlfredxIvan (implied GilbertxRoderich and Gerita, more may appear.)

**Warnings**: Language, lustful and explicit thoughts and innuendos, Age Gap relationship development.

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Hetalia but I'm waiting patiently for January guys! :3

* * *

**Infatuated **

He never had a problem like this on his life, but of course there's a first time for everything.

Becoming a teacher was one of the best things that happened to his life and the only thing he aspired to be since young.

At the young age of 32 Alfred Jones was teaching his favourite subject, Astrophysics and inspiring young teens as any other teacher was.

His optimism, creativity and leadership makes students enjoy his classes and even work a bit harder on them while having fun with hard mathematics. He was also tentative and friendly towards his students which made them trust him and let him help when they needed, he found a good balance between assertiveness and control and friendship with his students which made them enjoy his classes.

They learned with his joking and teaching methods and even other teachers came to him for help sometimes. Students do enjoyed the blond-haired man classes and the bright dashing smile of the teacher and his blue eyes was a plus to many. Having a good-looking teacher that was cool was something a bit unusual so there were only a few haters.

It was a good thing that most were there because they loved the subject but none like _him._

The young teacher saw them as his little disciples. He taught them and looked up to him making him feel fulfilled while thinking of them as endearing and mini people who needed guidance to turn the world a little better. The difference was that they were not little, they are all young men and women but he always thought of them in a very innocent way, paternal and brotherly, until _him_.

_He_ **_is_**_ different_.

Not only the fact that Ivan Braginsky is a tall young man with pale skin, ashen hair and violet eyes that lead to think that he's not a teen but a full man on his twenties, but the fact that he was very quiet, with an unsettling calm, and light violet eyes that pierced through him leaving him nervous, afraid that he was not being good enough for the intelligent gorgeous adult looking teen.

It was not right to think about his devoted student as gorgeous but indeed he was, at least for him.

His mind was skilled, challenging and mature making him great at everything he did. His body was tall, broad and more developed any other 17 years old teen making him intimidating and menacing but the most engaging and thrilling feature he had were his light violet eyes. They were gorgeous, intense and when he gazes you, you can feel those eyes staring deep on the depths of you whole being. It was enough to make Alfred _fascinated_.

To say that Alfred started noticing the teen was an understatement but alas, he started drifting his eyes towards him during the classes hoping that no one realised he was almost undressing the teen with his eyes, even if is thoughts would stay innocent enough; just a need to touch and feel, nothing more.

It was not like this at the beginning. The teen was as ordinary as any other teen.

He was quiet with a chilling clam and an intimidating and a somewhat lonely atmosphere around him; a unique character on his class that could not be ignored even if tried. His voice was childish and soft toned however Alfred could see how he studied carefully every word before talking, an interesting feature since he always said something meaningful on the few times he indeed opened his mouth to talk.

Ivan Braginsky did not talk much but he let his eyes pierce through people in an intense way making the other students drift apart from him.

Alfred noticed that when they turned away from him his eyes grew a sad edge but soon he was smiling his everlasting polite tight smile making Alfred wonder if that small smile had one day vanished from that pale face.

He wished he could relax his features though; he was more handsome with a sincere smile, breathtaking he would dare to think. Not that he had looked that intently to see it, he just saw him talking with his sister once, mouth parting and eyes craving that image in blue orbs because he looked so different and relaxed that it made Alfred even more intrigued.

Ivan's garments were always baggy or too big for him. He wore black pants or jeans with a large shirt and sometimes a light brown coat that made him appear even larger than he is and Alfred knows this as a fact because when he took it and Alfred could see that the teen was indeed a bit bulky but not fat at all as the clothes give to imagination. His broad chest compensates any slight lump on his belly though, it was developed and strong making Alfred wonder if he worked out to keep a shape like that.

The most curious thing about that student was a beige scarf that he wore always snugly on his neck.

Alfred always thought that it looked out-of-place but when on a Valentines' day he received a letter from a brunette girl and hid his flushing face in an endearing way on that scarf, Alfred realised that it fitted him.

With that came the conclusion that he was watching that teen a bit more than he should and it was scary for him.

It was frightening and nerve wrecking to realise that he was becoming infatuated with a student, _his student_, someone he should never consider to look at twice in a romantic or sexual way. But he did.

Unconsciously his vision would follow the room and always come to a stop at the young teen who was normally with a concentrated thoughtful face writing everything he said. Sometimes he would look up and flush slightly and Alfred would look away towards any other student hoping he was not staring.

He could not understand properly why he was so worked out about a student, a male student who kept oblivious to his dilemma smiling widely and freely to him making him become nervous and have a belly ache every single time he would do _that_ smile. It was _dashing_, slightly shy but confident and Alfred always had to smile back cheerily and quickly turn away.

With his big dilemma Alfred started searching on the internet feeling sort of lost and frightened but seeing nothing to help him he decided to keep with the idea that he was only flavouring a student_, nothing else, just fondness, yeah._.

It could be nothing else and he started despairing and avoiding look at the student in hopes that his mind and heart would stop racing against his will making him even more smitten.

But life likes to prank people and Ivan, with his floating scarf and mysterious smile, walked to his class in nice tight pants and loose shirt making him swallow heavily while watching defined muscle members move graciously yet steadily and a broad chest with perk nipples peaking from the shirt. It was a chilly summer day but Alfred felt hotter than the burning sun he so admired.

He despaired, looked down internally having a debate with himself and deciding to accept that he was attracted for a student.

His body felt tense, bothered, slight aroused but his mind guilt, repulsed with himself and the students looked at him with slight worry and he dismissed them with a wave saying he felt a bit sick. Before he could continued the class he stole a glance to the tall student who was watching him with worried violet eyes and he felt even worse.

He was living in misery, the infatuation and guilt slowly killing him and deeper than he thought so he decided to accept that he was infatuated by a student. After accepting that fact his life was easier; at least his mind was not hurting so much any more and he could eat without feeling sick.

It was somewhat normal to feel attracted for developed students and since he never acted upon that or gave it away he was safe. He will be fine, he's simply smitten by a student and will not heavily lust or sickly act on it.

_Right?_

.

Sometimes at the cafeteria he heard the students talking.

Teens were rather hurtful sometimes and they found Ivan threatening and dangerous not wanting to be near him creating _stories_ about him.

They were rather creative but Alfred heard it all with clenched teeth but said to himself he was only being protective and defensive of one of his students, it was normal, he disliked how Ivan's violet eyes would look saddened even if he paid them no mind. It was just fondness for the teen, really. The fact that he may be becoming deeply infatuated for the teen has _nothing_ to do with it.

A slight scared, confused feeling grew but he kept confident that he was safe. He would not develop even closeness with the student so it was fine.

Soon he was feeling light again and confident on his skills, talking excitedly about atoms and molecules between math equations while some students worked to keep up and other joined the talk with questions and doubts.

His eyes drifted the room questioning his students about what he just taught and noticed something was amiss.

Ivan Braginsky, the ashen haired cute Russian was looking outside lost in thought in a strange and unfamiliar way.

He frowned feeling a pang of disappointment and finished the class rolling his eyes when the same girls as ever stayed late just to talk or flirt with him with shy fake blushes and smiles. He, once, it found it flattering but soon it just be converted into inconvenient.

He bid his goodbyes to them and looked inside the room noticing that the Russian was still sitting on his place watching him and he felt himself flush a bit wondering if he gazed the teen too much or something.

A few seconds of uncomfortable staring followed and Alfred cleared his throat before speaking.

''Uh… aren't you going home?''

The teen stood looking down as if lost in thought then with a decided look on his face looked at him stopping in front of him.

''Mr. Jones I'm afraid I'll have to drop this class…'' he said with slightly lost, gloomy, sad wide eyes and Alfred had to steady himself on the desk for some reason he was not sure.

''Ivan but you love this class, don't you?'' he asked with slight hope and Ivan's face started dusting pink as he slowly nodded.

''I do but I can not afford the books you have been requesting…'' he murmured ashamed and Alfred laughed in relief and joy making Ivan look at him confused and almost offended before Alfred waved him off with a sigh.

''You scared me for a while here, little dude, if it's that I can help, 'kay? I have an extra book of each and can lend to you until the end of the class.'' He smiled and Ivan's eyes light up with surprise, glee and admiration.

''You do…? I could never…'' he murmured and Alfred placed a hand on his shoulder in comfort.

''Come on… You are the best here and I heard that you really wish to follow this uh?'' he added with a wink seeing the pink on Ivan's cheeks spread and the shoulders tensing nervously before shuddering. He took his hand realising what he had done with slightly wild blue eyes and the student nodded with a small smile.

''I do… thank you I don't know how to thank you Mr. Jones….'' He said grabbing his bag with a little too strength making his muscles tense and become noticeable on the shirt and Alfred looked away.

They were just too close and Alfred was trying to focus anywhere else. _He could not be physically attracted by a student, no, that was just sick! Oh God, please just go!_

''Just keep the good work Ivan… Follow your dream little dude, don't let something as money kill it okay?'' he said with a small awkward smile trying to blend with the table and keep his tone normal and Ivan nodded before hugging him tightly.

A bit too tight he must admit but he was frozen feeling the teen's strong arms around him and the body heat spreading through his body.

''Thank you.'' Ivan murmured softly with a huge flush over round cheeks and left leaving Alfred slightly glazed and lost.

_Oh God… what is happening to me?_ He thought confused and swallowed heavily as his body trembled nervously and his breath failed to follow the rhythm of his pounding heart.

.

Saturday was the day Alfred passed with his brother Matthew. They were always very close even if they had their differences and edged personalities.

Matthew was a psychiatrist on a children's hospital near the town and Alfred drove to his house wanting to at least talk to someone who won't judge him. Matthew won't, he knows but he's dreading the look on blue eyes that look so much like his own.

_What if he thinks I'm a pedophyle? A monster.. oh god… I'm infatuated and lusting for a teen… a fucking teen! _Who looks older, mature and oh so hot, another side of him told but he decided to keep it down, locked away.

His hands tightened so hard on the heel that his knuckles turned white but that tight hug and shy blushes couldn't leave his mind almost leaving him crazy.

Alfred knocked on the door loudly as ever and his brother opened the door with a large smile.

''Alfred!'' his smile faded when he saw his guilty look and tremble lips, ''what's wrong?'' he asked grabbing him inside quickly and Alfred hugged him hiding is face on the crock of his neck.

''Oh God, Matt. I need you!'' He murmured and Matthew took him to the living room only leaving him to prepare a hot strong coffee for Alfred.

Alfred told him everything. How he started thinking more about the student and noticing little things, how he was so smart and handsome and Matthew listened with an impassive calms and soft blue eyes.

''I don't know what's happening to me! I'm not like this and you know… I don't even…. _he's a student_!'' he whispered the last part as if it was a dirty secret and it was; one that roamed though his mind and followed him everywhere becoming stronger and stronger as he started feeling a dirty old pervert.

''Alfred calm down, are you not overreacting? Your students are almost men and women, is normal to _look_ at them.'' He said shrugging a bit his shoulders and Alfred looked at him as if offended.

''I'm attracted by a student, one of my students! This is _illegal_.'' He said almost in desperation and his brother rubbed his shoulder.

''Alfred, you have done nothing wrong, you are a bit infatuated but that passes right? What is the real problem here?'' he asked and Alfred looked at him.

''I don't think it will pass bro… This is… I don't know, it's stuck inside me and grows and I want him so badly… I never thought I would but he hugged me and now I can't stop thinking about _that_…'' he said grabbing his hair and bending placing his elbows on his own legs.

''Have you had… uh, dirty thoughts about him?'' Matthew asked bending to look at him and he shook his head negatively.

''No… I just want to touch him, feel him, nothing more…'' he said solemnly before adding ''yet.'' as an after thought.

The thought of touching him more was rather attractive now that he thought about it. _His pale skin and flushed cheeks with half lidded violet closing as he thrust into him harder and deeper, impaling his throbbing cock inside his tight, surely virginal heat-,_ he stopped himself with a wild startled look and Matthew looked at him worriedly.

''Alfred?'' he asked and Alfred stood shaking his head.

''I'm not a fucking paedophile! I'm not!'' he yelled more to himself than to his brother and Matthew simply nodded.

''No, you are not.'' He assured him just to ease his mind but that did nothing to Alfred who sat defeated on his couch with a pained look on his face.

''I need to get out of this school Matt…'' he murmured and Matthew looked at him.

''You want to leave?'' he asked with wide eyes behind glasses and Alfred nodded.

''Perhaps…. I'm not sure if I can live like this.'' He admitted and Matthew hugged him making his feel empty.

It was too small; too loose, not _him_ and he felt disgusted with himself for thinking that, _again_.

.

_It must be a test from God, it must be._ Alfred thought with a grimace as his normal cheeky easy-going self turner into a serious, downcast being.

All he wanted was some peace of mind but he couldn't even look at the mirror not wanting to face his own face knowing what he wants, he _desires_. It hurts thinking about _it_; it hurts wanting it badly as he was wishing and wanting that it was letting him terrified and hurting more.

All things considered it was _all_ Matthew's fault. He never even contemplated sexually about Ivan until he truly thought about it. It was horrifying how those scary lustful thoughts entered on his mind with a simple sentence and then plagued him all night.

He didn't want to even wonder about it but is mind would drift to the teen unconsciously and he felt even more pained. He would never touch himself though; it would even make him feel sicker.

He drove to the school and tried to keep his face impassive and expressionless but when the teen sat looking at him with such soft grateful, radiant bashful violet orbs his heart skipped a beat imagining those eyes leering with mischief lust and he paled sickly with wide eyes before handing him the books and turn around too quickly to start the class without looking once to the teen who, after that, watched him with a sulky absent look on his face.

.

Alfred was an easy man to read; when he was happy his blue eyes shone gleeful behind blue lenses and when having problem they would look sullen and slightly glassed. Ivan also knew this because he liked to _watch_ the teacher.

Alfred Jones was the best teacher he ever had; he believed in him and in a bad moment he was tentative enough to help him. It helped that he was very easy on the eye, the thought of the beautiful blond teacher made Ivan blush and shyly peer at him on the classes.

He was very jovial and young-looking even if the glasses made him look even more intelligent and older. Ivan knew girls fawned and were all over the teacher but he preferred to gaze intently the teacher and notice little things that made him even more particular. For example the strand of hair on his forehead that always stood still even if he never wore gel or hair products. Ivan also noticed little freckles once that he was close enough and when he hugged him he felt that he was very warm to touch. He was a gorgeous amazing man but he was only a student and knew his place but the mere thought of seeing the teacher sad made him pained and he wanted to watch the teacher smile dashingly again to them instead of giving them a crocked smile that was too forced on pink lips.

When the teacher handed him the book only to subsequently avoid acknowledge him he became quizzical and deponent while wondering what he had done to receive such treatment from the teacher he admired so much.

A bitter mood settled on the tall teen and Gilbert, his cousin and major problem on his life picked on him but regretted when a fist hit his stomach.

At least his mood improved slightly before Alfred gave him attention once again making him shyly radiant again.

.

There was the tradition of soccer matches on the school.

Teacher liked the little free time it gave them and students became competitive and thrilled with the games and prospect of skipping classes for trains and matches.

Alfred was not that exited this year but a little hesitant.

Normally he would cheer in joyful happiness with the students, even if American football was much better, but this year he couldn't concentrate properly trying not to focus on _the_ student.

He tried to avoid the teen but his eyes would drift to the student questioning him the hardest questions knowing he knew them better than anyone else.

On the matches his eyes would be glued to strong plump tights, sides and round ass inside loose shorts while he tried to look anywhere else. But he _couldn't_.

Ivan was damp with sweat on white glistening skin and panting, face flushed with a small rare smile; Alfred found himself watching him with lips parted, hands on his lips in disbelief and a strained erection on his pants. _How could this happen? Why? Please not here. _He thought in anguish and when Ivan shook his head cleaning his forehead with his hand before looking at the viewers of the match Alfred couldn't bare the torture of the lock of their eyes and stood too quickly not noticing how Francis Bonnefoy, French teacher, raised one eyebrow in a peculiar looking from him to the camp where a frowning Ivan stood slightly disappointed..

Soon the matches were ending and, sadly, Ivan's team lost.

Alfred continued to hide his infatuation for the teen and succeed until a fight took place on the playground and all his effort vanished.

Teachers were called by a girl to stop two teens who were heavily wrestling on the back of the school and they scurried through the walls to part them as soon as possible.

Alfred ran with them and froze walking slowly to the circle of fight when realise who was fighting.

Ivan Braginsky was fighting with Ludwig Beilschmidt, Gilbert's little brother who was strong, and sometimes over pursuer of his own interests having many students under his control which made Ivan have a strong aversion to the teen if he approached too much on his own interests. He was also the captain of the team who won the soccer match.

No one was sure what made them fight but Alfred could see that Ludwig had a black eye, ripped trousers and an arms twisted painfully.

He stopped walking in a slight safe distance and watched Ivan then, not noticing how Francis stood on his side watching him.

His breath quickened in adrenaline of wanting to join the fight and defend Ivan noticing the damage but at the same time mesmerized by the sight of Ivan whose arms were scratched in red lines, shirt ripped leaving trails along his broad chest and perk dark nipples and a swollen lip that lead a trail of blood through his chin fall on his scarf. Ivan spit on the ground with bloodied teeth and Alfred shuddered in astonishment, protectiveness and mostly arousal. His eyes grew wide behind glassed and he felt a hand grabbing his arm making him jump slightly in surprise.

When he looked again the teens were apart but Gilbert was on Ivan's side rubbing his back with a strained look and tight clenched lips looking at Ludwig as Ivan looked at him with a small smile and Alfred felt a pang of jealousy.

Ivan was giving a look to _another_. His blood boiled slightly as his arousal diminished in prowl of jealousy and Francis pulled him away from the surrounded bloodied teens with a contemplative face.

Francis took him to a more or less hidden place and looked at him with harsh eyes until Alfred spat ''What?'' before calming himself enough to look at who had dragged him.

His face paled and he suddenly felt sick and shivering but Francis harsh look dissolved into one of pity.

''Alfred, are you lusting over Ivan Bragisnky?'' he asked bluntly and Alfred glared at him offended and petrified of being so obvious.

''What? Of course not! And how you know his name, he's not your student! I don't know what are you talking about Francis.'' he demanded and rambled nervously making Francis shush him and sigh.

''I have been watching you Alfred and you should stop yourself before doing something bad! This gazing you do is not healthy and you should stop stressing yourself over a teen before you become obsessed, _cher_.'' He advised making him rage.

''Just because you are fucking with the director of this school doesn't make you have the right to accuse me of suck despicable things!'' he defended himself shivering nervously as a trail of sweat fell through his forehead_. He was lost…. Francis knew and he would tell the director who will fire him and he'll never get a job again! Oh God he felt sick and losing his mind!_

''Alfred!'' he warned trying to calm him before pressing his arm in a firm grip.

''This happened before and will not be the last time happening, whatever you are denying or trying to hide let it go before it becomes horrific! I don't even care if you have one affair with one student just don't make it non consensual because I'll be watching you! Don't you dare to _force_ yourself on him, understood?'' he warned before walking away with heavy steps and blue harsh eyes making Alfred open his mouth gaping as tears build on his eyes.

''I'm not… I would never… I never even…. I'm not like that!'' he murmured weakly but desperately, not able of coherency, to no one before walking away and taking the rest of the day off only to think how Ivan is probably involved with a girl or that idiotic albino.

He got to a conclusion. To get rid of this infatuation he must leave the school. Francis was right; he was a little bit more than infatuated by the teen and was starting to obsess over him because he knows he will never _have_ him.

He never thought he would ask for demission but he surely prefers it to go through the process of his infatuation become an obsession and force himself on _his_ precious wonderful student. That thought was just too sick but Alfred was scared enough of himself to not want to take risks.

On the ne next day he went to the principal with trembling steps in nervous lamentation and asked demission, rather demanded because the director didn't wanted him to leave, leaving the room knowing he would have to teach that class only a few more months until the end of the course.

That fact did nothing to ease his mind and his sombre blue eyes were not missed by the students.

Francis watched him shaking his head saddened and walked to his own class before winking at Arthur Kirkland, who did everything to keep Alfred on the school without success but knowing the events transpired on the soccer match preferring to keep it stuffed due Alfred's integrity, and flushed with narrowed eyes and huge eyebrows sending the handsome French teacher to his class.

Alfred went to his own class and proceeded with his teaching trying to keep his mind blank and his face normal enough even if not even atoms and complicated math equations were not enough to make him better.

Ivan was there with a swollen lip and dark bruise on his cheek and the albino, Gilbert, was talking to him and he tried to listen to them feeling jealous and suspicious only to get ashamed and even guiltier for assuming things in blind jealousy.

''Thanks Ivan, I never thought he would be so against me and Rod but…. I think he's on denial 'cause he's not as awesome as me and has an Italian instead of a hot Austrian to tap.'' The German grinned making Ivan shake his head.

''It was nothing but it would please me if you stopped the rumours you made about me.'' He said with a raised eyebrow and amused expression as Gilbert paled.

''It was not me but I can see what I can do!'' he nodded trying to run away from the dark atmosphere that was growing between them and Alfred looked to the book ignoring looks.

''Turn to page 82 and do those exercises please.'' He said loud enough to get attention but without his natural cheeky tone and Ivan looked at him intently before looking down fumbling with the pages.

Alfred left the room and sat on the ground grabbing his hair.

This is making him crazy, mad_… OH god… he's obsessed with a student! He's losing his mind because of a student; _he thought swallowing a lump on his throat before composing himself and continued the class noticing that violet eyes were boring into him again.

.

Sunday is always a good day.

He spent Saturday correcting files for his students, preparing classes a cleaning his house, somehow he managed to do it all and even play a game on the computer not having time to think about the student and Sunday was the day he got to rest and think about nothing.

He spent a few hours just relaxing on the bed and then went out for breakfast.

On his way however, he saw someone who made him want to bump his head in the steering wheel until it cracked.

Ivan Braginsky, the student he had been so careful to try to forget was running on the side-walk as he drove his car.

Ivan was wearing dark train trousers and a dark loose shirt as his light ashen hair glowed with the morning sun. His cheer size, built and hair were not the only things that made him recognize the teen; unfortunately he had dreamt with those shoulders, back, tights and ass too much to not recognize them.

He kept driving slowly and swallowed opening his window.

''Hey Ivan!'' he grinned to the teen receiving a quizzical look from a flushed panting teen who smiled broadly when realised who called him.

''Mr. Jones!'' he said cheerfully in a soft voice that even loud and demanding, never lost his soft edge making it tender and Alfred fond of it.

''Why are you running on a Sunday?'' he asked curiously.

Ivan slowed his pace and stopped walking completely to reply while Alfred stopped his car on his side looking at him curious.

''Oh, father wishes me to be in good shape.'' He nodded flushing even more as violet eyes twitched a bit and Alfred frowned worried and protective.

''Is he forcing you?'' he asked making Ivan wave his hand dismissively.

''Ah no, he's a good father but very strict and I do not mind, I enjoy running.'' He admits flushing even more and Alfred wondered for a moment if he could get even reddish on those pale cheeks. _I wouldn't mind to find, especially if he was spread and eager under me with his shy smile and childish curiosity. _He thought before frowning with a nervous feeling again. _God what's wrong with me!?_

''Ah… okay little dude… take care ok?'' he told a bit too quickly trying to be natural making Ivan nod and shyly smile to him.

''You too Mr. Jones.''

''Yeah…'' he murmured trying to keep those thoughts away and racing his car through the street.

Suddenly he wanted to know more about him again, to see him more, help him, have talks about their subjects of election and that frustrated him even more. He wanted to be intimate with him in _every single way_.

.

Classes continued to go and Alfred even being frustrated, nervous and strongly infatuated for a student he got a hold of himself and kept giving classes with all his passion and fervour. He loved the little ones; he just couldn't look too much to Ivan, _his_ student afraid that his infatuation would increase.

Feeling a bit renewed and knowing the classes were soon over he was excitedly talking about the space and universe as the students looked at him in awe, admiration and some in clear perplex.

He made them do a little research and looked down to the book he knew almost by heart. It was his love and one of the best subjects to learn and if he stopped he remembered how fun it was for him to learn about stars, the space and universe.

_ 'It's written on the stars'_ he remembered a book with this quote and Alfred started talking about starts along with planets, dust and materials wondering why do people say that destiny is written _there_, in an infinite sky, universe created by mistake.

We are all mistakes in a way but when he turned around he caught Ivan staring at his ass before looking down with a slight blush and shifting playing with his pencil with an ashamed face, he flushes loosing his trail of thought knowing that there are mistakes that should never be made.

That was one of those and now full thoughts of Ivan wanting him were invading his mind as a plague and he stood frozen watching the teen who looked at him even more embarrassed for being caught as a few people snickered and laugh of his teacher flushed red, frozen on the spot with a book on his hands as if lost.

He realised what he was doing and continued the class as nothing had happened.

On the end of the class Ivan walked awkwardly to him with an embarrassment and he raised one eyebrow not wanting to be too obvious.

''I apologize, I was only lost in thought and…'' Ivan started flushing even more and Alfred waved his hand to him with a slight blush.

''Don't worry, it's fine but…'' he looked at Ivan licking his chopped lips nervously and noticed Ivan looking at them with a slight reddish blush, ''if you don't mind me asking what were you thinking about?'' he dared to ask hopefully and at the same time terrified and sick with himself for even wonder about them together while Ivan looked at him with a thoughtful face.

''I was wondering why you stare at me so much and so intently.'' Ivan said aloud and he swallowed feeling almost scared of the intense curious violet on the tall teen, almost his high, eyes.

'' I'm afraid I am a bit infatuated for you, but don't worry… It will be gone soon and I will never bother you.'' He admitted feeling a heavy weigh lifting from his shoulders as dread swallowed his whole being and Ivan looked at him unblinking with a soft blush.

''Would you want to chat with me someday after school, Mr. Jones?'' Ivan proposed, after a few minutes of silence, with red cheeks while biting his lower lip and Alfred swallowed wondering how soft his lips look when bitten.

''I can't… I can-'' he started feeling nervous but so wanting and Ivan interrupted him with a soft voice and hopeful eyes looking up at him.

''It would be just for a bit, I will not take too much time from you.'' He murmured shyly and a little dejected and Alfred agreed wondering what he's doing as his infatuation grows more and more with every second.

* * *

**Notes:** Wanted to shake things up a bit and the other stories do the same as you may imagine! This was supposed to be a collection of drabbles to post on my tumblr but it grew and grew and ideas flooded my word so there is a full chapter of this.

I am working in too many things at the same time but I really wanted to explore this a bit so, am I exploring this shit or not?

Still having some problems so my writing is slow. Wait patiently, please, if you wish to see more because I am still undecided how I want to continue this so it will take even longer than usual. (really lots of stories going on just go to profile and see for yourself!)

Thank you for reading and/or reviewing and let your thoughts be known!


	2. Chapter 2

**School AU**, teacher and student relationship issues.

**Pairing**: AlfredxIvan (implied GilbertxRoderich and Gerita, more may appear.)

**Warnings**: Language, lustful and explicit thoughts and innuendos, Age Gap relationship development.

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Hetalia but I'd like to. :3

* * *

**Infatuated **

Alfred was not sure why he said yes. Perhaps it was the pleading tone mixed with the huge lightened violet eyes or perhaps he was losing his mind, he would go for the later if you ask him.

He felt like he was transgressing rules, deathly rules that had no army to come and get him but he was sure he would be killed on the spot if caught. But he was doing nothing wrong. _Yet_, his mind screamed and he gave his best smile to hide the nervous feeling.

Secretly he would swallow to the depths of his mind the anxious delight of being with _him_, Ivan.

He was not sure if that made him pathetic or disgusting.

They went to a small café near the school; students and teachers would go there in breaks and to socialize and Alfred could see a few of his students. _Oh dear lord… _

Who would pass could easily recognize them and see that both had an awkward, hesitant and shy atmosphere around them.

Alfred grew fearful with each second, his cheerful smile turning into an awkward wince instead while walking slowly trying to slow the impending doom.

_Will Ivan ask about what he said, will he confront him about level of his infatuation? Oh God why have I said that…I need to get out of here! They are looking! They know me!_ Alfred thought internally panicking while looking around in slight desperation.

Ivan for his part was silently gripping his school bag too tightly, making his knuckles white, but wore a small bashful smile. When he got to a table he sat quickly trying to speed things changing is previous thoughts quickly and thinking how the other students were _watching_ him.

Ivan sat in front of him calmly with a shy smile while playing with the ends of his crème coloured scarf waiting for the requested coffee and Alfred was watched him intently as silence stretched uncomfortable and heavy on his mind.

He was feeling a pervert watching the student so intently and the strange rush of blood downwards was even more infuriating and frustrating to him but he couldn't help his over reacting body when Ivan was looking so captivating biting his lower lip in slight embarrassment peeking up sometimes to watch him in adoration then gaze down again with a flush.

Ivan looked up, finally finding the strength to keep his gaze, and suddenly Alfred's mouth felt dry and his mind became all aware of the non-existent stares around him. _They all knew they were student and teacher, it's obvious and they will all assume things! Oh God he's not like that! But he thinks about… Dear Lord, I'm a psycho!_

''Are you feeling fine?'' Ivan's soft-spoken voice broke his internal debate with a concerned tone and he looked at him slightly trembling in jitters.

''Yeah, great!'' he dismissed him quickly glad that the waitress chose the moment to bring their leverages.

Alfred was slightly sweating and nervously chuckled looking around only to assure himself that no one was looking at them before grabbing his drink. He requested a coke; he was really in need of something sugary and gulped the fresh liquid as soon as it reached the table making Ivan blink a bit but then turn to his own leverage carefully and slowly.

Alfred placed the cup on the table and returned his gaze to Ivan who was always careful and precise with his movements. Alfred really wondered why and even thought about asking it but he was frozen on the spot, the silence even more unnerving but he couldn't find words and that was a first, he always had something to say but the tall student always left him wordless. _He **is** so young_…

Ivan looked at his right hand rolling the spoon through the hot coffee and murmured.

''I won't ask about it Mr. Jones.''

Alfred was taken aback with those words and felt even shakier grabbing the cup too tightly making the teen watch his hand then look at his face.

''I want to thank you for lending me the book… I have one that I thing you will like to read, it's about astronomy.'' He said softly with a small smile gracing his pale lips and Alfred watched them moving slowly before turning his gaze to the soft violet eyes; he felt some relief on the change of subject, his mind relaxing as a big cheeky grin grew on his face.

''I love astronomy!'' he said a bit too loud and Ivan chuckled flushing a bit making Alfred think that he indeed flushed a lot. _It looked good on his pale skin, he wants to see more!_

''I am aware of that. You are rather energetic about those subjects on the class.'' Ivan stated before bringing his cup to his lips and swallowing the tea.

Alfred felt his smile becoming restrained at the bobbing of Ivan's Adam's apple while he swallowed the tea and shifted his eyes to the side only to look at him and see a pink tongue licking soft lips distractedly.

''I… yeah…'' he said flushing losing all his vocabulary and Ivan looked at him again confused by his unusual acts.

''I would love to see it, if I don't have it of course…'' Alfred quickly added reminding himself what he was about to say and Ivan smiled making two little dimples on his cheeks. Alfred couldn't find him more delectable and adorable even if he tried so he attempted to trail his vision to somewhere else only to notice a still lingering mark on his cheek.

Ivan winced a bit and touched his lip and he noticed a little crack on the plump lower lip and he frowned reminding himself that he was into a fight and Gilbert was with him.

His eyes grew hard as unexplainable, and _unwanted_, jealousy and possession came to him making his words harsher than he intended.

''Why were you fighting with Ludwig Beilschmidt on the other day?'' he demanded and Ivan looked at him with a guilt, sheepish look making him want to take back the question.

''I am no friend with Gilbert or Ludwig but Ludwig was being unfair to his brother and I had to step on their fight or it would become a threat to all of us.'' He stated with a little frown looking down as ashen bangs fell on his eyes and Alfred looked at him.

''Uh… why don't you tell me what happened?'' he pleaded softly trying to redeem his harsh tone making Ivan look up biting his lip and look around as if afraid of getting in trouble and Alfred smiled at that. He once was fairly rebel and got in worse fights; he remembered that slight fear a bit too well even if it had been a while.

''I promise this won't leave this table!'' he crossed fingers on his heart and Ivan sighed nodding before starting to tell all he knew.

_Ludwig Beilschmidt is Gilbert's little brother by two years. They come from a very strict, religious German family who preached God as major identity._

_Gilbert Beilschmidt was always much rebellious and never took much attention to their demands, even being incredibly devoted himself, carrying a cross with him but Ludwig was incredibly strict as their parents._

_He craved perfection in everything he did and conquered it while his brother was almost expelled from home from being such a 'devious sinner' as their parents would put. _

_Gilbert told them he was bisexual but they forced him to think it was a phase until Roderich Edelstein appeared on his life. _

_What started due a tumultuous fight for the attention of the pretty Elizaveta turned into growing friendship that lead them into find comfort on each other and become lovers for some reason Ivan couldn't put a finger on._

_To say that his parents would be displeased would be an understatement but when Ludwig found out Gilbert thought he would at least be on his side._

_How wrong he was._

_Ludwig was completely disgusted and repulsed with the idea of having a brother who was in a relationship with another man. Gilbert always thought he had a little crush on the Italian on his class but it seemed he was wrong due the strong punch he received for stating that._

_Ludwig was incredible defensive of the law of God and how things should be properly done, create a family and have a life as expected not being around the school participating in disgusting sinful acts with another man. He even threatened to tell their parents in the mist of rage, despair and struggle._

_Gilbert was so offended, hurt and ashamed that his own brother was saying those things that he took his cross stating that God wanted people to love each other not hate and judge because they were different and threw the cross to his brother who losing composure started fighting with his own brother who fought back._

_Ivan was passing through them with a friend when he heard those things and saw how hurt his classmate, bully and even friend sometimes, was and how wrong it all was._

_Family should not fight and not because of ignorant things like that so he stepped on the fight shoving Gilbert aside and ask Ludwig if he would hit him if he said he was gay. After all Ludwig was very influent among students and such hate would spread quickly._

_He was hoping that the man would at least stop at his intimidating look but he pounced to him and they started fighting until teacher came to stop them._

_After that Gilbert thanked him but watched sadly his brother walking away with a sneer and hard blue eyes.._

Ivan looked down at the table with a small frown and Alfred looked at him in astonishment.

''I am afraid the fight did not end there.'' Ivan murmured sadly and Alfred almost wanted to hug the teen for being so sensitive and nice towards someone who even is not his friend. He kept gazing him and Ivan looked up gulping.

''You are not… against homosexuals are you?'' he asked hesitantly and Alfred shook his head with a small smile.

''I'm far from it. But try not to get in trouble too much… it will leave marks on your school papers.'' He warned thinking that the proper way of continue the talk without having the urge to grab the teen and keep him locked with him forever would be acting professionally.

This made Ivan fairly happy too. He gave a wide smile and his eyes closed a bit because of it as his bangs swayed with the little gush of wind around them.

''I knew you would understand! You are my favourite teacher Mr. Jones.'' He said flushing again but this time keeping his stare on blue glassed eyes and Alfred nodded with a small smile and a flush.

''And you my favourite student but don't go around telling the others this or they'll get jealous.'' He smirked a bit glad that the tension was broken and Ivan shifted on his sit with a bashful smile.

''I wouldn't dream of it.'' He murmured and Alfred couldn't help think that he looked a kid with his first crush while himself felt so guilty and confused as his first love.

When they parted, a few minutes later Alfred couldn't help feel even more infatuated by the student and much guiltier for not stopping himself.

Ivan is exquisite; he has a great mind and great looks. He's desirable in so many ways that it must be wrong and unfair to be like he is but Alfred has to remind himself he is a student, not a male man who has his own discernment and maturity but he looks older.

Not much, only twenty two or three but is enough to make older women and men look at him as an adult when he's only 17_. A fucking teen Alfred! Don't forget that!_

.

Alfred's day was somewhat normal albeit a bit boring but alas, some days are just like that.

He started the day with a sense of nostalgia, his brother called him and he reminded himself of his home, a house where his father was strict making them follow the good manners even when Alfred strayed around and his mother the kindest women he knew; they both worked very hard for their children. He had a good childhood, he had even a little flashback of the smell of home cooked meals, his father sermons and the late talks with his brother, his confident and best friend even if they fought a lot.

When he hung up he reminded the day he lost his virginity with a young lady, young himself and how a big deal it was on his mind then he started remembering the first time with a man, very different in all the complexity but so similar in the nervousness and initial awkwardness.

He wondered if Ivan would be one of those teens who already 'knows what to do' or is one of those who doesn't know a thing, if he would be eager and willing to learn or shy and quiet.

When he realised what he was thinking and how a simple nostalgic memory turned into the subject of his infatuation he wanted to hit himself _hard_. He was indeed losing his mind,

He wants him, he wants his heart, his soul, his body and he's losing his mind because of _some stupid_ infatuation.

Even trying his hard to deny himself the simple thought of it destiny, fate and GOD was not on his side.

When he was leaving school, bag of books, papers and school items in one hand and car key on the other, Ivan ran to him.

Ivan called him in a loud enough albeit still soft and childish toned voice and he looked back to him, he _really_ _looked_.

Ivan was dressed with his gym clothes, shorts that were long but showed his nicely worked out legs, baggy shirt that was wet with sweat clinging to his chest in a desirable and very attractive way and hair damp with sweat.

He ran to him with one book in hand and Alfred stood watching him smelling the husky smell of sweat mixed with his natural scent making Alfred just kept frozen on the spot afraid of moving, talking or even doing something.

''I was afraid I would not catch you Mr. Jones!'' Ivan panted a bit showing him a book and he blinked for the first time since he laid eyes on the teen.

''I had to run here quickly, sorry… I smell but I just got out of the class and really wanted to give you the book I said.'' He murmured flushing a bit and Alfred mechanically raised the hand with the car key to grab the book.

''Ah… uh... thanks… you didn't have to…'' Alfred stuttered hoping with heart that Ivan didn't notice his eyes fixed on his chest or the growing bulge on his pants, considering how his urges were catching on him as a teenager again.

''But I had to!'' Ivan said with conviction, admiration and extreme devotion on his eyes and Alfred felt himself give a little whine on the deep of his throat that he disguised with a cough and a avert of eyes.

''Thank you… I … I have to go, sorry Ivan, see you tomorrow 'kay?'' he said quickly and walked away barely listening the disappointed goodbye of the teenager who walked away slightly confused.

Alfred hit his head on the steering wheel when he sat on the car, he hit it _hard_! His mind, among other things, pleading him to just touch or at least watch the teen undressing and he cried no longer denying his unnatural urges.

He was lusting for a fucking teen, not only lusting but _obsessing_! He wanted to do things that no teacher should want to do with a student and he was obscene, dirty, and despicable! Completely mad, despite that, his strained erection continued hard making him feel even worse and cry harder. He won't touch it though, _never_! Never at the thought of that student who adores him and makes him feel so wanted and needed while making him desire the student even more.

He cant' touch him, he won't! He'll never be one of those who do those despicable things. _Oh God, but he wants so bad!_

That night he prayed to Holy Mary, he asked for forgiveness as many times before but this time he felt a hypocrite doing it knowing on the deep of his mind that he could not find something to incriminate himself since he did nothing, he just looked and desired and Matthew said it was not enough to feel as bad as he does, but he does.

Yet he couldn't truly regret that lusting since Ivan is the object of his deep infatuation.

_Is that wrong? _He can't tell any more…

.

It's Ivan's playground love, Francis saw. As promised he kept watching Alfred closely and then he watched Ivan. Soon he realised the feeling was mutual and that Alfred was struggling and avoiding the teen making him stop worry for that case. He understands, he once was in love, a silly love as Ivan's, for a teacher, a Spanish teacher who reciprocate the crush. He just hopes they find a way of being together somehow knowing that himself felt the loss of something with possibilities and that hurts more that trying and failing.

He saw Ivan walking away skipping steps but a bit disappointed and Alfred almost running away with longing, frustration and barely conceived anger to his car.

When he saw Alfred hitting his head on the wheel of the car he knew it was time to leave him alone. He will come to terms someday, _or so he hopes_.

He walked thought the school and smiled proudly at Ludwig and Gilbert who were hugging, both with puffy eyes and tears. He just hoped that every student was able of opening his mind like them, of solving problems instead of avoiding or creating more. Feeling a bit saddened with that thought he walked to the principal's room hoping for some 'cheer up' treatment.

.

_Ludwig was confused. His friendship with the little Italian was dangerous and distracting from his duties but he couldn't divert his mind from him. He couldn't bear him but couldn't leave him alone. He wanted to protect him and see his silly little things. He realised that perhaps he liked the male more than he should and then his brother is telling him he's in love and in a relationship with another male._

_He got angered! _They can't be both like that, what will their parent's think? Will God forsake them? _He couldn't endure the confusion and pain that the statement Gilbert made about them brought to him._

_His brother was stronger than him, he realised and now loved with a man without problems and he was feeling wounded, upset_. Why was his brother doing this when he was so confused and painfully grieving!_ He felt jealous, hurt and at the same time angered that he was trying to rebel again from his parents. _Was it rebellion or he truly believed that he can love another man? Can he love Feliciano too?

_He could only turn into something he and the little Italian believe, God but God doesn't reply to your struggles so that night he would ask advice to him. Even being an annoying nosy brother he was his brother and was always there for him but suddenly he was throwing their beliefs in prowl of someone who will hurt him for sure!_

_With the thrown of his cross his rage hit hard, his mind ran wild and he started fighting with his brother._

_When Ivan stepped he was rather pained with the choice of words! _Gay? He was also like them? Is he one of them too? Oh God why him? So devoted, strictly correct and thriving for perfection, he shouldn't be punished like that! Surrounded by them!_ Oh, but he was afraid, so afraid and preferred much more hit that menacing teen than his own brother so he decided to fight him instead._

_News came home quickly._

_Their parents didn't knew why were they fighting and he could see the hurt on Gilbert's eyes but he couldn't find the strength to ask him for forgiveness or advises knowing what he would say._

_Days passed, his heart hurt, the little Italian trying to cheer him with all he could but still his heart and mind would hurt until he saw them._

_Gilbert and Roderich were talking with each other and Roderich was rubbing Gilbert's back with a sad frown while he cried on his shoulder. Why was he so mad that a male was making his brother **happy**. Shouldn't he be glad that his brother finally found someone who would give him what he needs?_

_He looked at himself in disgust from doing and saying what he said. He looked at the Italian who watched the scene with a small smile and his heart clenched hurting more, did he crushed on a male too?_

_He didn't know but his brother would help and will help. Now he just need to apologise for what he did._

_With a heavy heart and frustrated, sad blue eyes he walked to his brother as Roderich simply left without a word._

_Gilbert glared at him and Ludwig started crying silently apologising._

_He never meant to hurt his brother like that just because he was so confused and hurt._

_On that moment he realised that no one was perfect and he was far from it, especially where it came to the heart but he wanted his brother with him to help him._

_Gilbert just hugged him crying understanding after a few curses and name calling. Gilbert knew what he was going through and would help the 'perfect son'. It will be a nice revenge for their parents too, who only cared about perfection and being the perfect Germans._

_Deep on his heart he simply wanted Ludwig to follow his heart and stop thinking so hard with his head; it was making him a mechanical person as their parents._

_Fortunately they had each other due the harsh days that would certainly come on their house._

.

Alfred is not sure where his mind is but he's sure he won't do anything, just watch, _watch won't hurt anyone right? _Yet, he is unsure of his own rhetorical question.

He is secretly pleased that the students look up to him with adoration and admiration and that always made him feel better while he taught them and hoped something would stay on their heads for exchange. Sometimes it was hard but sometimes they gladly retained information making his work feel more worthy and fulfilling.

One of the boring parts though was the correction of the exams.

Some answers were very creative, wrong but creative, some well done, written and got straight to the point but many wrong in some places and he had to correct them all.

It made him sad give bad grades but very happy to give good ones, he always wanted to give good ones even if they missed a few points but he was not making their work any easier though.

He was going to do that nasty, boring work on the library of the school, not wanting to be alone on his house, when he saw _him_.

Ivan was reading a book intently with a small smile gracing his lips that were fully healed by now. His bangs hid his eyes but his big nose was endearingly peaking from the bangs, it made Alfred want to go there and just touch his hair, rearrange a lock and place it under his cute ear but he frowned concerned with his urges not noticing where is feet where leading him.

He should be going to a table to work but suddenly he was in front of the student who looked up with surprised violet eyes under light lashes and he forced himself to act naturally. _Yeah Al, it's cool… it's just Ivan…_ _the student you think at night you **pervert**! I'm doomed…_

Alfred gave a crocked grin and Ivan smiled giving him room on his table for him and he sat looking down a bit ashamed of how he was behaving, in front of a student none less and in the school library. _Way to go Alfred… You're going to jail!_

He felt a bit lost and wondered why he sat there, just where he shouldn't have but then he started acting as everything was normal and placing his stuff on the table while Ivan started to read the book again.

They did not share words and the silence was enjoyable and appreciated on that moment by Alfred so he started correcting exams on the student's side as it was normal.

He noticed a few glances of students and was ready to defend himself with 'there were no other tables' or 'he was alone so..' but no one said a thing and he kept doing his work with ease enjoying just _being_ _close_ to _his_ student. At least he could concentrate properly this time and that made him encouraged and serene.

He finished a few grades and got bored; then he really looked at what Ivan was reading and blinked. Ivan was reading a romance and he chuckled a bit at that making Ivan look up in confusion.

''Oh, sorry… I just didn't saw you as a boy of romantic stories.'' He murmured saving the exams on their proper folders and Ivan flushed a bit.

''I do enjoy many themes Mr. Jones, not only romance.'' He stated vacantly but with a flush that clearly said that he enjoyed a lot reading romances and Alfred smiled shaking his hands on the air in the international motion of surrender. _He is so endearing embarrassed._

''Nothing against it! I simply prefer fiction with action and adventure, oh and aliens! They are totally cool!'' he said excitedly forgetting he was with the object of his infatuation and Ivan chuckled at that.

''Someday someone will write all of that in a romance.'' Ivan said with a shy smile and Alfred had to swallow the urge of touching his reddish cheeks. They radiated so much warmth that he realised how close they were making him save his things quicker.

''Yeah… that would be nice uh?'' he half asked and Ivan nodded.

''I have one that has space invasions if you want to read it…'' he murmured shyly looking down at the book and Alfred nodded thinking that Ivan's hands looked very soft and pale holding that book, _so touchable._

''I would love to.'' He murmured no knowing exactly what he was saying and to who.

He walked away thinking that he wants to touch him too much, just _feel_ him! _God just feel him in an innocent way would be enough!_ It's a sin, a mistake but when he sees him all the reason goes away and he can only see Ivan, Ivan, Ivan.

Ivan who flushes taking with him, Ivan who is so thoughtful, nice, lonely, awkward and intelligent, Ivan who looks older, who looks hot, who looks beautiful, who looks all he ever dreamed off and he walks home feeling heavy but this time he doesn't reprimands himself.

It's an infatuation that grew inside him as ivy poison and it doesn't goes away, it only grows and grows and he can't avoid it. He can't hurt himself over it anymore, it makes no sense of doing it if he keeps desiring and wanting the teen.

He wanted to feel disgusted with himself but now he could only conform and hope it will pass as Mathew keeps reassuring him it will.

.

Obsession.

It's a tenuous line but he thinks he never crossed it, at least not intentionally. So it can only be infatuation, a foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction but it's not love. He can not love who he doesn't know but when he watches Ivan from his front seat on the class he can't help think he _knows_ him.

He knows how Ivan loves that class, how he works hard, harder than most due some lack of English terms sometimes, how Ivan plays with his pencil daydreaming and looking outside, how Ivan flushes when addressed to, how Ivan looks at him with fondness, devotion and a kind affection that no other ever made him feel and he can't really help think that he knows Ivan.

Ivan Braginsky, who is mysterious, quiet, calm and menacing but will blush, read romantic novels, love the cosmos and run to keep in shape with that little smile that grows breathtaking when talking with Alfred.

It's a violation, Alfred thinks, defiance to rules, ethic and moral.

Ivan, tall, almost tall as him student is only 17 and he's a teen, a student who needs guidance, his own guidance, the guidance of a 32 years old teacher not someone to take advantage of his fascination for the subject. He also could see he is object of Ivan's attention giving him even more thrill and want because Ivan is allowing, Ivan wants… It was hell for him to realise this. That made him miserable with want and desire, he imagined willing, naïve and curious, pleading him to be taken and he cursed himself feeling repulsion of something that doesn't makes him nauseated any more.

His dreams fill with Ivan's face, body, eyes; his thoughts of Ivan's intelligence, sweetness, analytical rationalization and devotion of his own figure, Ivan's scent, Ivan's taste that he can only imagine and it's hell, it drives him crazy while it happens anywhere forcing him to pretend his thoughts.

_Ivan kissing him tentatively while Alfred grabs Ivan's ashen hair; _He wondered the softness, texture, feeling on tanned hands and he sighed knowing he could not!

Alfred woke up from his guilty, oppressing day-dream and walked through the tables returning the graded exams. As ever, Ivan excels on the exams and Alfred dares to mess his hair playfully needing to feel and discover the feeling. He watched Ivan flush bashfully with the attention while looking up with curious light violet eyes and Alfred took his hand from the soft thick hair noticing he lingered without wanting.

He continued to walk but he was only aware of his increasing heartbeat at the lingering feeling of thick locks of hair on his fingers.

Strong and unbearable need coils on his stomach, on his mind, on his heart and when he goes home he walks into the shower feeling the water hitting his cool flesh warming it substantially.

Ivan on his mind and that flushed face and curious eyes being enough to make him half hard and shivering in perplexed indecision.

_Fear-_, a hand grabbed his cock in a firm grip as the other pressed against the wall of the shower-, _need-_, he pumps himself quickly, as his hardened member twitches and sends pleasure through his warm body-, _Ivan_, his mind thinks, his eyes picture the teen and his lips part as he continues jerking nervously, quickly. _Make it quick! _He tells himself as it would diminish the guilt.

He stills, shivering with blue eyes closed tightly and almost doesn't come with the horror of what he was doing while thinking on a student, much younger and naïve.

It was still one of the most intense, frustrated orgasms he ever had leaving his somewhat sated and revolted with himself.

With tears on his eyes he placed his face on the pouring water thinking that still was not enough.

_It will not be enough! He needs more, Ivan willing, inexperience, curious and pleading for more under him._

**_God… why did you made me like this?_**

He can't help to lay on the bed exhausted and conformed with what he become and is. He is a grown up man lusting over a teen… he's something he always despised and sleep came quickly but restlessly.

.

Alfred was a body without a mind all day because of _him_.

He kept forgetting what he said, he kept switching and mixing subjects and students laughed at him making him feel even worse.

His mind far away because he wants to leave, just leave from that tempting teen but he would be without money right now and he feels trapped. He has to wait until the end of the period as Arthur told him, demanded… not knowing the monster he is… _he feels._

At least he did not have Ivan's class to teach and that gave him some relief not wanting the teen to find out what he did and thought.

He walked home exhausted and with a headache. It was idiotic to fret about something like that, he read on the internet that you can do these things as long as you don't touch and show the student your intentions… the fact that he searched about that theme makes him feel worse, a _pedophile_ stalking an innocent prey_. But Ivan looks so older, wiser, appealing in so many ways_ that made his headache worse. It makes Alfred want him but that was not the worse, he was loosing control of himself, he did not felt disgusted of himself any more but simply guilty and conformed with what he become _because of him!_

Matthew called him at night and they talked about their days. Alfred really tried to hide his nervousness and slight discomfort but Matthew simply knows his brother well enough to know that something was wrong and Alfred can't take it anymore.

''I want him; I want to touch him Matt… God…. The worse is that I've fantasized about it … it makes me insane! I'm this _monster_!'' he said with desperation and whispering even if he was all alone on his house.

''Alfred, you should simply stop thinking about that and it will pass… it's only an infatuation right?'' the soft voice of his brother tip making him only more nervous and fearful.

''Please believe me bro! I can't help it, I've tried but I always think about him… I think I'm obsessed… I want his attention, his devotion and I want to care for him, to touch and caress him… '' he murmured looking around as if afraid of being heard and a sigh could be heard on the phone.

''Al, listen to me then, we'll do this-,'' his brother voice sounded tired and somewhat worried but the bell rang on that moment making Alfred almost drop the phone.

He grabbed it quickly but with shaky hands and breathing hard from the scare.

''Sorry bro, gottta go now, see ya latter!'' he bid goodbyes quickly letting his southern roots slip from his mouth and he closed the phone shut before composing himself, almost want to laugh at himself for being so fearful, and opened the door to the cheerful face of Ivan.

_Why are you here? Oh God do you know? Please… I'm not… I don't want to… _

He stood frozen at the door while Ivan looked at him with a slight flush from the wind and exited eyes.

''Hello Mr. Jones, I'm here to lend you that book I was talking about.'' Ivan said in a shyly calm voice but with a hint of nervousness and Alfred kept looking at him with wide blue eyes behind lenses.

When Alfred finally got out of his surprise induced stupor he found himself contemplating to shut the door but he stepped aside and saw Ivan nod once before stepping inside with heavy boots.

Alfred cursed himself, the world and a few deities and turned around to look at Ivan who indeed was holding a book on his chest making him look endearing. Then with an encouraging breath he smiled nervously.

''Hey… I was not waiting for you here…'' Alfred coughed a bit walking to the couch sitting with a loud oomph. His heart thundered on his chest and his mind kept telling him that _he's not a monster, there's nothing to worry about, please Al, you know you are not capable of even touch him!_

Ivan followed him and sat on his side, legs touching Alfred tensed as Ivan showed him the book telling him how fascinating all the space ships and alien theories where and Alfred relaxed a bit joining the casual talk with some excitement.

He touched the book, above Ivan's lap to show him something curious and Ivan watched him curiously as his hand slipped slightly to his leg and lingered. Alfred trembled a bit still stuttering the rest of the information and saw Ivan's eyes curious, with a dark edge making his own gain a similar edge and his heartbeat increase even more.

He conformed himself, yes, but then he realised he couldn't and now this…. Ivan is there… Ivan is not running away and he panics.

He stood too quickly and looked at the clock not noticing the clock on the desk and laughed loudly, nervously, uneasy running through his veins as panic settled on every inch of his whole being.

''Yeah, it's getting late and you should go, your parent's must be pretty worried by now…'' he smiled a crocked display of teeth and Ivan made a sad frown looking down before closing the book.

''It is fine but I was the one who overstayed, I apologise.'' He murmured standing and Alfred shook his hands wildly on the hair.

''No, no, nothing like that! I will return your book when I finish it I promise!'' yet he walked to the door and Ivan follows him a bit defeated biting his lower lip knowing Alfred wanted him out of his home.

Alfred opened the door and Ivan looked at him and he nervously looked down licking his dry lips, suddenly Ivan was bending to him and closing distance, quick warm breaths hit his shin face made him freeze on place and Ivan titled his face to his cheek.

There was a soft pressure on his cheek, soft warm breath and then cold. Ivan was flushing and looking at him curiously as his own flush increased and the grip on the door handle tightened making knuckles white and arm tremble.

''Bye Mr. Jones.'' Ivan whispered and walked away leaving Alfred gapping trying to say something but no sounds leaving his mouth.

_Ivan, the object of his misery, infatuation and lust kissed his cheek… he…._

He closed the door, shakily walked to the couch laying there still trembling in uncertain, concerned nervous feelings and thrill running through his blood and he glared at the book as if it was dangerous and the guilty of everything.

_Why did he not felt disgusted with the fact that he allowed Ivan to kiss his cheek so chastely, so quickly, so cutely? He was not a pervert, he haven't done a thing, it was Ivan… this means that he's not a pedophile?_

He felt so numb that when he finally closed his eyes he slept on the couch surrounded with the scent of Ivan's coat.

He accepts he is more than infatuated for the teen and he awkwardly tries to avoid Ivan who looks dejected and regretful; and while some cheap honesty would allow him to confess his _sin_, he holds it inside him as he watches Ivan afar wanting to be close and closer.

_He kissed him! He wants him back, he would allow him to do anything! _

The pressure of that confirmation and the pressure of responsibility made him mix delight with fear and he prefers to avoid the teen knowing that he would lose control. He had the confirmation that he is not a monster and he will gladly keep it that way.

* * *

**Notes:** It's amazing how successful this story and how luck love I'm receiving with it. I was not expecting it at all but but it makes me very happy and thankful, guys! This story, as almost everything I write, is dear to me so it makes me very happy to see that you enjoy it and that I am succeeding :3

**Warning:** **I hope I haven't offended no one with Ludwig and Gilbert parents. There is a few German's who act like this but we know that this happens in every strict country. These characters are fictional and without offensive intentions. I apologise if someone felt offended with them but it was only to show the problem Ludwig had. I had to clear this part out for everyone of course and Francis role of watcher and why he watches and is careful with it.**

(germancest brotherhood and pruaus for my girl Shannon :3)

I skipped the other stories to get this thing done so... yeah... I hope I'm meeting expectations.

Am I exploring this shit or not?

I hope I am because I really stopped working on the others for you guys, they are on stand by because I don't want you guys to wait too long for chapters. As I posted on my profile they are all with plots and mostly thought, this is not but I quickly though a plot-line that may change but I think will make you guys happy. Anything, critics, want to read or totally no-no's are welcome :3

I hope not to disappoint but the last chapter will be the next and Mature things will happen, _slowly_.

Thank you for reading and/or reviewing and let your thoughts be known!


	3. Chapter 3

**School AU**, teacher and student relationship issues.

**Pairing**: AlfredxIvan (implied GilbertxRoderich and Gerita, more may appear.)

**Warnings**: Language, lustful and explicit thoughts and innuendos, Age Gap relationship development.

**Disclaimer: **I still don't own Hetalia but I'd like to. :3

* * *

**Infatuated **

Days had passed quickly and Ivan would talk to him while he tensed and relished the feeling of warm lips on his cheek. It became a ritual, one that Alfred wouldn't change for nothing, yet, he can't help feeling that is not quite enough but he's glad he can't do a thing, he's not a _monster_ and after many hours, days and despairs he allowed himself to forget for a moment the age gap and be _friend_ with the student. _He can be friend with a student right?_

The age issue kept haunting his mind.

Still he never imagined his life to turn like it had and realising that soon he would leave made him uneasy. _What will Ivan think?_

He had to force himself to think of the student who flooded his mind and made his life orbit around Ivan, it was strange and somewhat bothersome that anything would make him think of him but he was already used to that turn of events. It was unconscious.

Alfred would wonder sometimes if he could have a life with Ivan, Ivan was technically almost an adult but Alfred can't surpass the fact that he is ten years older than the student and the student certainly has future plans that don't involve get attached with a _teacher_.

But when he talked with Ivan and he flushed looking away biting his lip Alfred quickly felt his resolve to leave melting away as images of them living together grew on his mind.

Yes, the major problem on his life was a student, Ivan, and he did not felt disgusted or guilty anymore even if it still was wrong. Besides he would never force himself on someone and knowing he couldn't even touch Ivan eased his mind.

That made his mind at ease and forgets a bit the age gap.

''Come on Matt, I wanna spend a few days with you!'' Alfred whined grabbing the phone with one hand and holding the book that Ivan borrowed with the other.

He was expecting the teen at the coffee to return the book but was caught conversing with his brother while he was waiting.

''Alfred, I told you that I will be with a few friends, I've told you so…'' Matthew's soft voice came through the speaker making him pout.

''Noooo…. Damn, now I'll have to spend a full vacation alone! You suck!'' he said looking to the door opening smiling when Ivan entered and waved to him before walking to his table.

''Alfred, we both know you suck more, now don't be like that, I'm sure you'll find some videogame to play and distract yourself!'' Matthew resonated but the message got lost on the way because Alfred was too busy grinning like a fool to Ivan mouthing 'my bro' before turning to the phone.

''Yeah, yeah, we'll discuss that later bro, bye.'' He quickly pressed quit and looked at Ivan who was sitting in front of him.

''So-..'' he started only to speak in time with the other.

''I apo-.'' Ivan flushed and he chuckled.

''You first.'' Alfred conceived and Ivan nodded still flushing prettily.

''I was saying I apologise for being late Mr. Jones.'' He said and Alfred shook his head.

''What have I told you? Alfred, call me Al if you want and it's nothing, really.'' He smiled and Ivan smiled bashfully making him uncomfortable with the silence and grabs the book abruptly.

''Oh, this book was great by the way but it was lacking a good villain.'' Alfred said seriously and Ivan placed it on the table agreeing.

''I agree but the main characters were pretty nice don't you think?'' Ivan fumbled with his fingers and Alfred shrugged.

''Yeah but it lacked action!'' Alfred pressed making Ivan chuckle and he smiled along.

He really enjoyed spending time with the younger man. It made him wonder about the possibilities that relationship had but he stopped himself thinking that perhaps he was getting a bit ahead of himself. It was hell on earth once again and he was sure he could never forget their differences without feel completely wrong and a bad person even if Ivan was willingly, yet he _wanted_, _needed,_ it.

Secretly Alfred enjoyed being pursued and he noticed that in fact Ivan pursued him subtly. If he looked closer he would see that Ivan was just fine and thrilled with that prospect too but he was too lost on amethyst eyes and soft smiles.

Ivan was yet to make another move besides the kissing on his cheek, he seemed content with that and Alfred was getting a bit impatient. It was not that he wanted to rush Ivan, he simply forgot and choose to ignore the age gap and realised their time was ending.

The school year was _ending_.

That fact brought him mixed feelings, for one he wanted to get away and never think about the teen or even consider the potential relationship as he was considering but for the other side he wanted to be with the teen more and was afraid he would lose him forever. He felt his mind twisted and weird but he couldn't help himself, the student was so enticing!

It was something that made Alfred completely scared, _the future with or without Ivan._

That thought made him pause and think harder than usual.

.

''So Saturn has these gorgeous rings around it but he's not the only one with rings, Uranus and Jupiter also have them.'' Alfred said pointing at the slides he thought to the class. They surely enjoyed to learn with visual aids, for him was easier too make his point pass to the students.

''Now there is another planet that has a human made ring, can you guess which one is?'' Alfred asked with a smirk when heard 'Mars and Pluto' as the options, he looked to Ivan who pointed is arm on the air and said Earth making Alfred smile fondly.

''Correct, it's Earth, our satellites are all around our planet orbiting through equations pre defined.'' He said making some display their astonishment.

''Now do the equation on the slide please.'' Alfred said sitting and whines were heard making him chuckle. He truly enjoyed teaching.

Few minutes passed and a loud whine left someone making him look to the brunette with nose twisted in indignation.

''Next year we will make even harder equation Mr. Jones, it's not fair…'' the red-haired, next to the last girl, pouted and he lost his smile at the mention of the next year.

He hasn't told them yet and the silence was swallowing him as the students started worried about the meaning of it.

''You will be here won't you Mr. Jones?'' the red-haired girl asked with some concern and he placed the book softly on the table avoiding looking at his students.

''I'm afraid I won't be your teacher then.'' He murmured and all the class started whining, murmuring, scoffing or having no reaction.

He dared to look up to his beloved students landing his eyes on him. Ivan who looked heartbroken with the news, eyes furrowed, lips parted in disbelief and breathe slow and shaky stood and walked out of the room making his lips tight and his eyes tear a bit.

_He lost him…._

It was what he wanted for so long and now he was feeling a complete idiot because he never stopped giving Ivan hopes or even tried to show him it was wrong. He was an idiot and when the class ended he avoided the students and walked quickly away from the building only to stop in front of the car where Ivan was frozen looking at the car.

''Ivan…'' Alfred whispered and Ivan turned around with red puffy eyes and nose.

''You can't go.'' He murmured making Alfred feel even guiltiest and Alfred walked to him as his heart clenched with the sight of the _shocking_ news he did to Ivan.

''But I have to, little dude.'' Alfred murmured looking down and Ivan looked up at him.

''I am not little and will be bigger than you eventually.'' He murmured back with a hint of frustration and Alfred chuckled before sighing and placing a hand on his shoulder.

''Ivan… I really have to go.'' He pressed with sorrow and Ivan frowned clenching his teeth.

''Why?'' he asked and Alfred looked away silently.

''It's because you like me isn't it?'' Ivan murmured tensing and Alfred took the hand from Ivan's shoulder as if it had been burnt before freezing shivering in anticipated fear.

Ivan only looked down shyly playing with the tied ends of the scarf murmuring lowly, barely loud enough to hear.

''I am sorry… I thought I was right…''

Alfred kept watching Ivan with slight dread of being caught and Ivan looked at his blue eyes with sad eyes.

''I apologise if I made you uncomfortable…. I like you Mr. Jones and only wanted you to like me as I like you… Sorry…'' he said sadly and Alfred swallowed hard before saying in a broken voice, fearful of being heard.

''I like you.''

Ivan shook his head defeated he Alfred frowned knowing that Ivan didn't believe in him.

''Ivan?'' he pressed and Ivan looked up at him angrily.

''You don't need to lie to me!'' his voice was steady but broke in the end making Alfred feel even worse and a lump grow on his throat.

Alfred looked around and grabbed Ivan's hand before he could turn away and pecked his lips quickly, nervously before dropping his hand and flush.

''I like you.'' He murmured again looking at wide violet eyes and Ivan's mouth parted before a smile grew on pale lips.

''Keep this between us Ivan…'' he murmured again before stepping to the car and open it to get inside it quickly. _He was doomed, what had he done?_

''… Alfred?'' a shy soft voice broke his inner panic hesitantly and he looked back grabbing the car key too tight.

''Can I go to your house tomorrow night?'' He said with his fingers on his scarf and Alfred gulped.

''Won't your parents be mad?'' he asked and Ivan shook his head.

''They don't care.''

''Oh…'' he saw the pang of sadness on Ivan's eyes and wanted to protect him, possess him and talk to him as lovers do and he felt even worse realising what just transpired there.

They were going in front with it and it was his entire fault! Somehow he felt glad that Ivan also likes him as he likes him.

The entire day was a mess. He shuffled with papers losing streak of where the right ones were, he spoke the wrong things at the wrong time and his mind kept telling him that Ivan was going to his house at night making him dread it. _What was Ivan expecting? What is he expecting? Oh dear Lord he is acting worse that a blushing virgin girl!_

He was sure of one thing though, he would do nothing. _Yet_. He wished he could still feel embarrassed or guilty of such thoughts but now he was pretty conformed with the turn of events.

When night came he was even worse. He almost felt having a panic attack, his heart beat wildly and he could almost feel his breath stopping, until Ivan rang the bell and he opened the door.

On that moment he felt stuck and Ivan looked up with intense eyes before showing him a book making him release a breath.

_Good, it was easier with books… that meant he was not expecting anything like _that_._

He almost wanted to punch himself for thinking like that of his student, of course he is not like that_; he's perfect_!

They spent hours talking about the book until Ivan looked at him biting his lower lip and Alfred gulped before Ivan approached him shyly

''Can I kiss you? … I mean, that was my first kiss…'' he admitted as his flush grew making Alfred slightly wavering.

He pressed his lips to Ivan who froze in place before clumsily trying to imitate Alfred and too soon it ended.

Ivan said he had to go home and shyly said goodbye with a bashful smile that made Alfred think that perhaps they can do that. _Secretly_.

.

It's infuriating, a little maddening and a little strange how a boy, a student, barely a man can do this to him but he can. He makes Alfred wonder, expect, sigh and crave his attention; his comforting presence and Alfred had a tiny distaste for Ivan because of that. It was something he never experienced and something that brought sorrow to the depths of his mind because of all the implications of that relationship. Yet, he would give everything to make it work right, he needed to make it work or he could ruin his life and Ivan's life. The thought brought him a sour taste to his mouth so he decided to forget it in favour of making Ivan happy and smile like he only smiles to him.

That night he went to his house too and Alfred this time was more at ease. Ivan is willing to be his and he can't let that escape, not now that he thinks that his infatuation is more than that, he just can't point a finger at what he's feeling.

They were on the couch, on his house and Ivan shifts to him making him nervous as Ivan giggles a bit nervously. It's a tic that Alfred notices on the student, when anxious he giggles_, it's cute._

''I am nervous..'' he murmurs after that making him look at him.'

Alfred had one idea of what but pretended not to know.'Why?''

''I want to kiss you but I don't know if you want…'' he admits and Alfred flushes.

'' We can't…'''

Ivan pouted a bit restraining himself and looked at Alfred behind locks of air. ''You said … you…''

''Ivan… I'm your teacher.'' Alfred tried to reason with him because things were going too quickly and the danger grows and Ivan sighed.

''But I like you.''

''It's a crush Ivan…. We all have them…'' Alfred said knowing fully well that he was the one lightening the powder.

''Is not! I like how athletic you look and how yours blue eyes shine when you talk on the class… I also think you are the most intelligent and interesting person I ever met.'' Ivan said and he, possessed by the need of feeling him, just touch and feel him close kisses him feeling Ivan struggle a bit to follow him.

It was just another kiss but much different than the peck and little kiss they gave the other day, this was intense, lustful and needy and Alfred grabbed Ivan to himself kissing all the face of the student who breathed harder and tried to do the same to him.

It's a tragedy. He kissed him rather … deeply. And he replied grabbing him with big shaking hands making him more secure but at the same time guilt.

He wanted those hands, those arms around him, those legs around his waist and the bulge he could see through the pants freed just for him so he pulled back from above him and looked away as Ivan was still on a dazed state, flushed and panting.

He was also panting and feeling predatory, almost unable of contain his desire for the look on the teens eyes, for the teens exposed neck, for the teens mouth, body, soul! _Everything._

''You should go.'' Alfred said adverting his gaze and Ivan stood too quickly.

''Was I that bad?'' he asked concerned and Alfred shook his head.

''No, far from it; I am the bad one here.'' He murmured looking down as Ivan stood to hug him.

''Let me stay.'' He pleaded and Alfred almost cried in frustration, guilt, and the wrongness of it all.

''I can't. Please Ivan, go.'' He murmured still and firm as a rock and Ivan dropped his arms from him sadly.

''I'm sorry…'' he murmured leaving and Alfred fell on his knees crying.

''What am I doing?'' the lonely feeling Ivan left with him when leaving only turned everything worse.

He realised he could no nothing else than accept what was growing between them and hope no one to find it out.

.

It was one awkward day for Alfred. His brother didn't call him and Ivan, sweet Ivan appeared more than once on his dreams. It's almost maddening how much he thinks about that student.

He became more than clumsy with the paranoid feeling.

Ivan was thinking it was his fault, he was no good for the wonderful teacher and Alfred would bump into things and look around paranoid.

_What if someone knew what he did? He really made out with his student, passionately._

Seeing Ivan so sad made him worse and he swallowed his fears- he was avoiding the teen.

''Ivan.'' He started and Ivan frowned watching him until he made a sad face shaking his head.

''I understand, .'' he murmured lowly and Alfred grabbed his arms and pulled him to whisper on his ear.

''I want you so bad it hurts Ivan… You don't have idea but please… let me think, let me… I don't want to hurt you… to take your innocence away.''

''You want…?'' he trailed looking up with wide eyes and a smile broke on thin pink lips.

''Oh Alfred that makes me so happy! I've dreamt with that so much!'' he said and Alfred shook his head.

''No! This can't happen!''

''But I want to!'' he looked like a petulant child but Alfred frowned.

''No. This will happen slowly and only after I am no longer your teacher…. If you still like me.'' He said murmuring the last part knowing that Ivan could find someone of his age and Ivan nodded.

''Can't we just be together until then?'' he asked and Alfred looked away swallowing and making the decision of knowing the student more.

''I suppose.'' Alfred murmured and Ivan smiles, truthfully and just for him.

''Good!'' And with that Ivan walked away cheerfully.

He comes to his house a few days later and shyly tries to give hints that Alfred catches but refuses to acknowledge.

He keeps going carefully about it as being watched, he can't let them get caught_, God that would be their ruin, especially his own._

Ivan feels neglected and asks if he doesn't likes him anymore and Alfred kisses him hard turning it into a make out section that shows how willing Ivan is and wants it but he stops himself and sees Ivan shifting, bulge on his pants. Too shy to ask or say a thing

His own is restrained and he touches Ivan's bulge with his palm just to watch the reaction

He stops himself and tells Ivan to go out.

He can't do this… not yet.

.

Paranoid.

If someone notices on the school but Ivan keeps watching him with glassed dreamy eyes and he tries to avoid them knowing how much it affects him.

He sees girls going after Ivan. Jealousy and fear of being left creeping on him but every single time Ivan would refuse them and say he has someone else.

He keeps watching though and lusting even more; every thing he does turning into something sexual or at least romantic or erotic.

He really should stop this but he wants it so bad… he can't even control is mind to run away to the student.

He calls Matthew again and Matthew stays without knowing what to say. This is much more developed than what he expected and Matthew tries to give his best to help but Alfred starts to mumble incoherent things about hell, fired and jail and he calms in down.

His fears were huge but the need for Ivan was even stronger as weeks pass by.

.

They watch a movie and Ivan tries to act manly and doing the right things; 'arm around him and stuff' As if Alfred didn't notice of course but Alfred was once younger and know every more that Ivan tries to do.

Ivan acts shyly and awkwardly and Alfred stops him and he apologizes and Alfred explains that what he wants is wrong.

Ivan looks at him flushing and kneeling in front of him and states he knows how it is done and wants Alfred to do it with him.

The pressure was huge and Alfred was every day more fearful and apprehensive, with that he teared up in fear and confusion and Ivan feeling guilty comforts him.

'' If I hurt you I will leave you life Alfred..'' he murmurs and Alfred grabbed his arm pleading him to stay, he doesn't wants that he just needs Ivan to be older, just a bit to not making him feel so unfair and creepy.

The last classes were coming and Alfred was much more anxious and calmed down.

The strong feeling was going away with every kiss and press of clothed bodies assured him that Ivan was serious.

Every day he would share a kiss on his cheek or lips and Alfred's longing and need takes advantage of him to turn the kiss more intense.

That night Alfred agreed to act a bit sexually with Ivan, they share hand jobs, was Alfred who preferred, he didn't want Ivan to do something he was not ready for and it worth it, Ivan was the most gorgeous and exquisite thing he ever saw when flushed and closed eyes.

Months pass as they do things together.

They know a lot of each other and Alfred feels everyday even more infatuated, in _love_. He found the word and applied it with a grin, Ivan also loves him. He's still afraid, still afraid of their age gap and what people will think so they keep it to their circle of trusting people. It makes Alfred uneasy though, Ivan is almost an Adult and Alfred is waiting for it patiently.

Ivan's birthday came quickly and snuggled on the couch Alfred asked him what he wanted.

Ivan looked at him flushing and placed one hand on Alfred's legs.

''I want to have sex with you Alfred…'' he murmured getting a shade of pure red on his cheeks.

Alfred doesn't speaks, he simple nods negatively and Ivan frowns.

''Please, I'm old enough now!'' he whines a bit and Alfred nods with a sigh, two months, not much but Ivan feels so compelled with it that he looks at him seriously.

''If you really feel ready…'' he murmurs and Ivan nodded.

''I feel!''

Alfred swallowed and said ''…fine.'' as Ivan jumps to his lap chuckling and kissing him harshly.

Alfred grabbed his legs to keep him in place and kisses back with vigour, need coiling in the depths of his being as Ivan rutted slowly above him.

Alfred took Ivan's scarf slowly and Ivan took his shirt making move to take Alfred's shirt too. Alfred gasped at the hands moaning through his chest and he grabbed Ivan's ass making him hiss and kiss his jaw.

''You are very sexy Alfred.'' Ivan murmured on his neck and Alfred swallowed before switching positions making Ivan on the couch and Alfred above him.

Alfred caressed his face and took a lock of light blond hair from Ivan's face kissing his forehead, cheeks, nose and lips before going down through his jaw and neck. Then he bit Ivan's ear making him take a breath and Alfred smirked.

''Am I the only one making you feel like this?'' Alfred asked huskily on his ear as he pressed his crotch to Ivan's and Ivan flushed more nodding as Alfred went down kissing his belly and twisting a nipple with one hand.

Ivan swallowed hesitant and Alfred looked up to him kissing his navel and placing a finger on the seam of the pants waiting for his response until he nodded.

Alfred's hand roamed inside his pants grabbing Ivan's quickly growing member. Alfred twitched just as the image of Ivan under him, curiosity, hesitance and lust on violet eyes and Alfred took his pants before kissing him on the lips again.

Somehow Ivan's pants were discarded and Alfred pressed their crotches feeling each other need and Alfred bit Ivan's lower lip.

Ivan whined and bucked up making Alfred go down again licking his torso until he took Ivan's pants off and blew on his standing cock.

Alfred smirked at the whine Ivan gave and how his hands were fisting the couch and then licked the dorsal vein of Ivan's cock whose twitched and made Ivan close his eyes in desire.

Soon Alfred was licking and sucking his cock while playing with his balls before leave him.

Ivan hissed at the cool air on his member and Alfred returned with a bottle of lube and one condom kissing Ivan once more before moisten his fingers.

''Do you want to place the condom in me?'' Alfred asked against his lips and Ivan nodded taking the condom and clumsily placing it on Alfred's member. Alfred had to rearrange it but Ivan was trembling in anticipation and nervousness.

Alfred saw this and pressed kisses on his tights reassuring him again and placed one finger on his puckered hole, it was not too close so he pressed another making Ivan hiss and his erection die a bit but Alfred sucked on the tip while twitching and scissoring his insides.

A fourth finger was inside him and the walls clenched to accommodate the intrusion, Ivan hissed a bit but Alfred was gently and soon was placing himself ready to penetrate Ivan who was looking very sure and decided. With that Alfred pressed himself slowly as Ivan made a pained sound and face.

''You want me to stop?'' Alfred asked almost in panic of hurting the boy that he was ready to pull out but Ivan pressed himself further making Alfred move and try to prod in the right bulge of nerves.

Ivan hissed in discomfort and when Alfred was about to apologise he gasped and Alfred aimed there making them rut semi disconcerted until Alfred pounded harder and Ivan gaps and hisses along with slaps of flesh sounded on the living room.

The place was not the proper but soon they found a pace and groped each other with half lidded eyes and desperate moved.

Ivan was the first to come, his natural teen stamina making him flush but soon Alfred also came and took the condom out before holding Ivan who was still panting.

''You… You liked it?'' Alfred asked unsure and Ivan moved to him pecking his lips.

''Perfect.'' Ivan said making seconds pass in silent trying to regain strengths and breath.

''Next time we switch for you to see the difference okay?'' Ivan proposed and Alfred nodded.

''It's only fair.'' He murmured cuddling to Ivan who cuddle back with a smile gracing his pearl lips.

.

The year was over and Ivan and Alfred finally could be together. After all he will keep on that school even after wanting to go away. Arthur may be rigid but he always did what was right and Alfred thanked him for it.

Vacations came and they met the intimate things of each other and shared a love with lows, highs but always lot's of love

When College begun for Ivan Alfred was jealous and worried that Ivan would find someone of his age and meanwhile Ivan was afraid of Alfred find some super hot teacher.

Fears and simple little things of a relationship always made them walk in thin ice due their strong personalities but they would always come to each other lovingly and homesick.

Only time would say but deep on them the infatuation was love and they wish it to keep like that, age gap or not they are perfect to each other.

* * *

**Notes: I truly think I could do better but I wanted this to be the last chapter so it's rushed, I hope you all enjoy either way.**

I hope not to disappoint 'cause I feel that I did disappoint...

I want to say that I'm sorry for the delay and thank you all for the support.

Thank you for reading and/or reviewing and let your thoughts be known!

DanieSora


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